Have you ever heard the song “Buttermilk Biscuits” by Sir Mix-a-lot?
It’s kind of awesome.
My brothers and I used to listen to it all the time.
Here’s a few verses:
One day I kissed my freak, hit the street
Looking for something to eat
In a 18-wheeler, lookin’ real swass
All the girls smile ’cause I’m the big boss
Said I gotta eat now, can’t eat later
Made a lot of noise to attract my waiter
The boy walked up, and what did he say?
“Say, buttermilk biscuits free today!”
So what you waitin’ on boy, get up shake a leg
Gimme 10 of them suckers with grits and eggs
A glass of Koolaid and a whole stick of butter
Them biscuits make me a superfast cutter (huh huh)
Now grab that can and wrap it in your hand
Bang that sucker till the dough expands
Cook them suckers up in your oven
Grab your girlie and get a little lovin’
Add a dab of honey if you want to get funny
Microwave those suckers if you want your honey runny
Time to get naughty at the Mix-A-Lot party
And rub them suckers all over your body (huh huh)
Because then you couldn’t eat them, and that would be really sad.
- 2 cups flour
- 4 teaspoons baking powder
- 1 Tablespoon sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 cup butter flavored shortening, cold
- 1/4 cup butter, cold
- 1 egg
- 2/3 cup buttermilk (milk in a pinch)
- Combine dry ingredients and cut in cold butter and shortening. Whisk egg and milk and stir into dry ingredients just until combined. Knead about 20 times on a floured surface.
- Roll to 3/4 inch thick. Cut with 2 1/2 inch biscuit cutter without twisting. Place on a lightly greased cookie sheet so biscuits aren't touching. Bake at 450° F on convection setting for 10-15 minutes.
- If you don't have a cool oven with convection settings, you and I are in the same boat my friend. If you do... well, what is your address? I'd love to come steal it in the nigh... uhh... I mean... inspect it? Eh hehm.... ANYWAY! If you do not have a convection oven, go ahead and bake them at the same temperature just for a tad bit longer. Keep an eye on them, and when they just start turning golden brown, go ahead and take 'em out and slather honey all over 'em!
- * You can make your own buttermilk if you have lemon juice, vinegar OR cream of tartar and milk. Add 1 tablespoon of lemon juice, vinegar or cream of tartar (whichever one you have on hand) to a bowl and add enough milk to equal one cup. Let that mixture sit for 5-10 minutes and voila! Homemade buttermilk.
Ain’t nobody got time for flat biscuits.
Also, this is a legitimate Famous Julie recipe she concocted up herself.
Next time you see her, give her a big high five and tell her how awesome she is for doing that.
She deserves it.